Yea so, everything is pretty shitty. I mean, I hate to be so down about things, but I really cant help it! Things are just going down hill... but everything was awesome for so long, I guess I was a little over due for some major drama... I dont know why im so jelous! When I had him, I wasnt even all that into things. He was really really odd and not in a way that I was really interested in... but apparently that didnt mean that I didnt want me and him to work, because I really really really did FUCK I really really did... but I guess its a little too late for that isnt it? I feel brooken I feel like an idiot I feel like an ass... and a jerk I feel like pistolwhipping myself in the face! Damnit, I feel a lot of hate toward him right now. And I feel a lot of hate toward her for taking him... its a serious issue with me... it seriously kind of... broke my heart I think. I feel numb but still emotional. I feel angry but in a peaceful sort of way. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! Honestly, im really pissed at both of them. Im pissed at the situation. Im pissed at life! Im pissed at school. Just pretty much everything... I think I need to just take a day to totally break down and start agian... onlything is... the day after that, its all going to start building again. I need an emotional shovel or somthing D =< | 
